Should I write a birth plan?
or ‘go with the flow’?
This is a bit of a contentious issue when it comes to birth, with people usually divided into two camps. There’s the birth planners who are perceived to be determined to control things with zero flexibility, and there are the ‘go with the flow’ types who are seen as the chilled, zen mamas who waft in, take things as they come and waft out again, baby in tow.
But why do we view birth planning in this way? We don’t look at any other aspects of life like this.
Which would you rather be when it comes to going on holiday? Someone who’s made plans and booked a luxury hotel in their dream destination, or someone who’s just turned up at the airport planning to ‘go with the flow’ and hop on whichever flight is leaving next?
The woman who is in her dream destination isn’t inflexible, she’s not still going to go to the beach when it rains is she? But she’s done her research and knows her hotel has an amazing spa and she has the option of going there for a massage instead.
And what about the woman who’s going with the flow? She’s got on her flight from the airport, ended up somewhere totally unfamiliar, no clue where she can stay while she’s there. No idea about the best places to eat or drink or sightsee. She’ll be lucky if she’s even ended up packing the right clothes for the weather in wherever she’s ended up! She’s on the back foot with no real information to help her have a good holiday.
Who do you think is going to have the better experience?
Birth planning would be much better viewed like going on holiday (except instead of duty free, you get to take a baby home with you).
It’s about putting yourself in a position where you’re informed about what’s going on around you, knowing what scenarios might occur and how it feels right for you to respond to them. Women with birth plans still go with the flow, the only difference being it’s their flow, not somebody else’s.
’Going with the flow’ - in the way we’re using it in this instance - quite often means not being informed, and ultimately giving up your choices to somebody else in the room.
Women are capable, strong, intelligent beings, and we have the right to have our voices heard and respected. Planning your birth is no different to planning your holiday. You can’t control everything that happens, but you can make sure you’re prepared to meet any bumps in the road positively, and to make decisions that are right for you.
If you’d like support with writing your birth plan, my hypnobirthing courses are an amazing way of finding out more about birth and the choices you have. Click here to find out more.
